lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
