Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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