To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
