my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
