I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
