Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
