I don't usually arrange sex via text message
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
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