we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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