Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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