she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
