I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Randomize
