On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
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