the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
