I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
