Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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