Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
