it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Sext me about skeletons
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
