Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
