He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
