Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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