i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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