Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
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