I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
