I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
