Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
