I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
