I must be too annoying 4 u.
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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