Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
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