all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Your penis caused this!
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
