just tell him i said nine months
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
