Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
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