Those balls look pretty dangerous.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up�
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
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