I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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