It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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