rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
