oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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