Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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