I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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