I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
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