honey bunches of taint.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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