No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
