Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
