Someone shit on the floor
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
my liver is dry heaving
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
