I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Randomize
