she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
