I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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