I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
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