do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
