my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
