I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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